04 October 2005

Catatonic

Nothing extraordinary happened today. The same old routine. But I felt catatonic, after a chat with one of my professors. I'll tell you why, but that's in the middle of the day, and I am feeling linear this time, so let me narrate in a linear fashion.

Since I was so sleepy yesterday, I just plopped in bed after doing all the things that I needed to do that day. Then I didn't turn my alarm clock on since my classes aren't until 4:00 in the afternoon, and even though I have a meeting at noon, I still have plenty of time to sleep over. But I don't know with my biological clock, maybe it is preset to wake me up at the time period between 6:00 and 7:oo in the morning, so I woke up at 6:30. But I wanted to sleep more so I forced myself to sleep one hour more. Which I did.

At 7:30, I finally got up, and the sun was shining on me. Exceptionally warm today. I actually sweated while walking, which normally doesn't happen very much ever since I moved here.

So around 10:00, I was on the academic spine (the part of the campus where all the academic buildings are located) already, and I set to go to the Office of Financial Affairs. I wonder if anyone would go here with a happy heart. I went there to pay my bill, because the deadline is tomorrow. If I don't pay tomorrow, I would have to pay a 30.00 late fee. Then there was a problem. When I checked my balance online, I found out that I needed to pay a certain amount of money. So I readied my checkbook and was hoping to pay that amount, when the lady at the office told me that I have to pay an amount considerably larger than that. When I refused, then she told me to print out a copy of the online balance, which I did, then she allowed me to pay that, without me incurring the late fee.

So tuition payment over, or rather, rent because I am leasing an apartment of the university; my tuition is fully waived after all. Then I went to the university computer store. I wanted to buy some stuff, but they didn't have what I wanted. I only bought a 512MB flash drive. This is for my back-up, for my papers, so that in case my computer makes a tantrum and crashes, I still have a file saved.

Time really flies. When I was an undergrad, flash drives aren't the norm. Most people store files on diskettes or CD-RWs. I usually have a system in which the files for my current semester are in a diskette, and whenever the semester ends, I save everything in a CD-RW. So right now, I have one CD-RW with all the papers and the homework assignments and everything else that I had to write in my undergraduate years. Which is a good thing, because right now, I can use what I wrote, like recycling the data, among other things.

Oops, I digressed. What was I saying before? Oh, yes, the passing of time. Before, we used diskettes and CDs. Now, my laptop doesn't even have a floppy drive! I only have a DVD-RW drive, and USB connectors! So now I am storing my files in a flash drive.

Ok, the sad part. In the morning, I went to the student lounge to eat some leftover food from the conference. It wasn't stale, yet. Then my professor in my seminar class went in, and our conversation moved from the conference to the paper that we will write in his class. The thing is, during the conversation, I realized that what I thought was a great paper wasn't even a paper. My ideas weren't paper-worthy. If I were to write a paper at my current idea, it would just be 2 or 3 pages. That isn't even close to a graduate paper.

I felt like my whole schedule collapsed. I cannot formulate my ideas. And I have no idea on what to write on. The data that was sent to me doesn't seem to be useful. Like that lone woman on the ocean, I don't have any sense of direction right now in that class. It's not that I don't like it, I love the topic. But I don't have any clue on how to apply it. One consolation I have is that it is not the same as in Semantics class, where everyone doesn't have a clue to what is happening in class.

One good thing, it is still early in the semester, and there is plenty of time to consult, read, and formulate ideas.

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