03 January 2010

Uncertainty

There has been a lot of uncertainty in my life lately. And I don't like the feeling of it. The other day, I somehow entered this state of being antsy, just because a friend of mine asked what I was doing for Tuesday, and I seriously couldn't picture in my head what the calendar looked like and where Tuesday was. The fact that we are in the middle of a semester break seems to add to the uncertainty, that one day is just the same from the next, that I didn't even know what day of the week I was in that day.

Add to that the fact that I am moving out of my office this coming Wednesday. I have cleared pretty much all of my stuff, and I have moved things back home. I am moving my office to my house, and I also applied for a study carrel in the library. Come to think of it, I wonder how I buzzed through my undergraduate years. Three and a half years, and I didn't have an office or a permanent study area that was just my own. And I was able to write an honor's thesis. Well, I know I will come up with something.

I guess it's this losing an office thing that bugs me. I effectively lose an anchor. of sorts. It's also some change that I need to go through. For the past four and a half years, I have been the inhabitant of this one room in the university, and my co-inhabitants have changed over the years, but I stayed put. But obviously, I cannot stay put for eternity. I guess this is one way of moving on.

Well, I guess I have to say farewell to Baldy Hall. Not quite completely yet, but I know I won't be haunting its corridors as much as I used to.



(Wooden Clash, from my Hirschhorn Museum Series)

2 comments:

  1. We are in the same boat!

    I both hate and love change. It's exciting but scary. That said, looking back, most of the changes I had in my life turned out to be quite positive.

    The other day, my co-worker was planing her yearly holidays at work. It somehow terrified me. I can't plan that far!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Zhu,

    Yes, change is exciting and scary at the same time. The thing is, it can be scary since it basically is uncharted territory, and we humans like certainty, but it can also be exciting if we are sick of our current predicament.

    ReplyDelete