Thus, before the move, there are several things that need to happen. Mostly, there are things to clean in the new house, and that was where I contributed by efforts. I was cleaning the cupboards in the kitchen when there was a thought that occurred to me. And it was a weird thought, actually.
The house was near a park. It is located in a cul de sac. There are plenty of kids in the area. And as I was gazing out the kitchen window while washing the washcloth, I had a thought to my head. Here I was, with my friend and his partner, in their house. They're both ready to settle down in a city of their choosing. But I on the other hand is still floating around.
Well, not really floating around, as that somehow implies that I have no direction. I do have direction, but I don't have a destination, yet. For some reason, I thought about that. I am hopefully one year away from graduating. After graduation, what's next? A post-doc? A faculty position? A research position? Where? In North America? In Europe? In Asia? The options are endless.
And honestly, at this point, I don't know. I see kids in the park as I gaze outside the window. I see a bunch of squirrels running around in the backyard of their house. I was thinking wow, they have a backyard! And here I am not even knowing where I would be the year after this one.
Do I regret my life decisions? Not really, I actually like where I am. However, sometimes I amaze myself at the way the cards fell into place. Who knows, I might end up having a house in the future, maybe a condo. Maybe that's where I will settle. But at this point, that's a big black hole in my future.
My friends might be getting a house, but for me, I am still running, running away, knowing that Buffalo is temporary. And for some reason, I don't know my destination yet. All I know is that I am gonna hit this ground running.