22 January 2008


I am a little disappointed.

At the end of the three-day weekend, I looked forward to going to my office again, working again on my paper. Then, in a brief moment, while the colloquium was about to start this afternoon, a member of the faculty sat up next to me and told me that I did not get the summer job I applied for in the department.

It set me in a little low.

It's not that I am going to go broke if I don't get it; I have more than enough savings to go by for the summer, before I start teaching again for the next semester. But still, it is income.

They told me that they already have me teaching for them for quite some time, and they want to have others to have the experience to teach. I get that.

Anyway, that is life. There are joys and disappointments. I am just taking this as motivation to speed up the process and so I can get out of here and cease being a student. I take this as a catalyst for progress, so that I can finish my qualifying paper, write up a dissertation proposal, do the research, and defend the dissertation, so I can get my degree and append three extra letters at the back of my name.

Speaking of this topic, I had a chat with my roommate the other night, about the fact that at 25, both of us are still students, he being in his first year of graduate school and me on my third year. He was also remarking about other 25-year-olds which are already earning money working for firms and other companies. He said that he doesn't like the fact that he will finish at 30, and he feels that his twenties went to waste.

I don't feel that way. For me, additional education is an investment. One goes to graduate school because one wants to have a higher stand later on in life. Instant gratification isn't always the good thing. One should invest, and the fruitage of that labour will be evident later on.

I guess being content and happy at what one is doing has a lot to do with it. I am happy where I am right now, but apparently, my roommate isn't. Frankly, I don't think he was destined to be in graduate school, but that's not relevant isn't it? If he is, but is not happy with it, then something may be wrong.

The human psyche really is a complicated matter.

(Fluttering flags, from my United Nations Series)


  1. I think I said it before, but we're the same age: I'm gonna turn 25 this year ;)

    I'm still a student too... just for a few credits though and I've been working full time for 2 years.

    I can understand you're disappointed... yet, look at the bright side: you ca find another job, maybe better, who knows? Expand your horizons a bit!

  2. Pogi,

    It might do you good to try other types of summer jobs (e.g., grocery store sales, tutoring kids, doing research write ups for a fee to other graduate students, serving as personnel assistant in NGO organizations, etc). The prospective lists is quite long.

    But this time, why not make use of your free summer time towards more spiritually-oriented pursuits, like doing AUXP?