16 April 2008

Crassostrea Gigas

Here I go again, pensive, daydreaming.

Today marks the day in which a year ago, a deranged man shot multiple people to death in a campus in the eastern United States. One year has exactly passed since the shooting incident in Virginia Tech. Life indeed passes by quickly.

Was it John Lennon who said that life is what happens while we are all busy making other plans? That I believe really is true. Nobody can foretell what exactly will occur to oneself a day from now, a week from now, a month from now, year from now, a decade from now. Everything is done by chance, I suppose. No matter how hard we try to plan things, no matter how hard we try to schedule things, sometimes, things deviate, and we have to deal with it.

I had a conversation with my Kuwaiti friend the other night. It felt so fast that one day, he just arrived, the next day, he is leaving. He leaves in a few weeks, heading back to Kuwait, getting married, and going to a different school in a different continent.

Life moves on. People come and people go. I am glad that my path intersected with his path, although I do not know whether we would still intersect in the future. Chances are we won't, since if I look at the patterns of my intersections, virtually, I do not intersect again with people I get to know.

I basically haven't seen my former friends in elementary school. Middle school in Japan is the same, I don't have any more contact with them. I have a few friends from high school in Osaka who still stay in touch via e-mail. And all my college friends are still reachable by e-mail. But due to the fact that I move around, I suppose, the chances of future intersections are low. It doesn't take a sophisticated binary logistic regression model to predict that statistical conclusion.

I guess it can be said that as for me, the world is laid out in front of me like a wonderful living buffet. Yes, the world is indeed my oyster. Who would have known that I would be here in New York ten years ago? Ten years ago, I was still polishing my pianistic skills, wanting to be part of the music business. I never thought back then that I would be conducting experiments and dabbling with statistics.

Is there a price to pay? They say that it gets lonely at the top. I look back and see my peers, having a family and settling down, while I am here, working my butt off hard. I pulled a LIW again this semester. I am done with my qualifying paper draft, I am finished with my other class paper, and I am done writing the tests and homeworks for my class that I am teaching. The only thing remaining for me for this semester is the final exam for my Statistics class that will be given at the final day of classes. Otherwise, I am good to go.

I am happy, but somehow, sharing the happiness to other people isn't the good thing to do. Doing that only seems to rub the wound, rubbing the fact that I am done and they are not.

Life is complicated, whether I like it or not.

(Glass Bubble, from my Corning Glass Series)


  1. One year already for V tech? Wow!

    Life goes by so fast... has been lately for me anyway. Can't believe I've been in Canada almost long enough to apply for citizenship (in a few months). Being busy does that...

    I remember when I was a kid, summer holidays were "forever". Now, what is two moths for me other than four paychecks???

  2. Zhu,

    Yup, it's been a year already since VT.

    I agree, it seems that the older we get, the faster time passes by.