16 January 2020

Getting High Without the Cocaine

Recently, there have been some stressful situations at work. Some colleagues have characterised it as a "major crisis situation". And I happen to have been heavily involved in these situations, which lead to my colleagues approaching me now and then asking how I am. The thing is, I actually felt good and was doing fine!

As these situations subsided, it became apparent to me that I actually am enjoying these things. There's an adrenaline rush that gets to your head when there's a time pressure, and you need to deliver. It definitely makes a difference when you know you can deliver, as opposed to when you're pushed into a corner helpless. I changed roles a while ago, and comparing the crisis situations I faced before and after the role change, I definitely enjoy it more now. After all, the current role is a better fit.

I was wondering what was different, aside from the role fit. I think because in the current issues, I see the point of what I am doing. I see the point of why I need to do what I needed to do. In the previous role, at some point it was lost on me why I was even administering what I was administering. Its purpose was lost to me. But in the current role, where I deal with external legislation and the authorities that enforce it, everything seems real. It's like the safety net underneath these nimble acrobats was suddenly taken away. And that gives you a certain rush and edge to it.

There's also the expertise. In my previous role, at some point I ended up doing the tasks I was doing because somehow I needed its output, but I never was an expert in the tasks that were required to generate that output. In the current role, I know the rules of play like the back of my hand.

So yeah, at times there are major crisis situations, yet I have to say, I actually enjoy these moments. It is stressful but absolutely exciting. It feels like you're getting high without the cocaine. So when people ask me how I am doing, I am actually doing damn well fine!

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