01 February 2020

When Things Cancel Each Other Out

There are times when I feel blah. Most of the time, it happens when there are multiple factors, some of them positive, others negative, and it happens that they just cancel each other out, and I feel just unsatisfactorily neutral.

For example, late last year, during the Christmas holidays, I had plenty of things to do at work. Sometimes I felt like it would have been great if I could just fast forward to the time after the holidays, so that I could continue doing what I needed to do. Then again, I also was looking forward to being able to turn my head off for a few days, and think about something else.

There was also this new development at the workplace. I won't go into the details here, but there was a part of me that didn't like what was happening, yet it felt like I was just being forced to play my role and act this one out. Then again, there was another part of me that felt like it was indeed a good thing that this new development was occurring, mostly because other issues that happened in the past wouldn't have happened if this new development was already in place.

Oh, I also want to plan some vacation in the future, yet I still can't, because there's another thing I need to schedule, and my availability depends on this other event, which is still unclear at this point.

In any case, I suppose what I wanted to say is that I feel just okay-ish lately. Kind of like a 5 or 6 out of a 10-point scale. And that's not the most decisively satisfying feeling, I must say. Oh well, I am sure this ain't a big deal. Pretty soon, something else will happen that would tip the scales in either direction.

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