22 April 2018

México 2.0: Failing to Climb a Pyramid in Tepoztlán

Tepoztlán is one of those pueblos magicos that are found all over Mexico. It is an easy day trip from Cuernavaca, so I went there on a Sunday, when the town comes to life. After all, it's also an easy drive from Mexico City, and plenty of city-dwellers flock to these small towns during the weekends to escape the metropolis.

Anyway, I went here to check out the town. I wanted to climb the pyramid located north of the town, the Piramide Tepozteco. It is a pyramid perched high up the mountains, above the town. I was already warned that the hike would be tough, so I brought water, a hat, and set off early to beat the heat and the crowds.

As I was leaving the main street, where pretty much everyone else is on, I started seeing signs for baños limpios (clean bathrooms). I mean, it's Mexico, and clean bathrooms aren't always available. I even brought toilet paper with me all the way from Berlin. Although stupidly enough, I didn't bring it with me to Tepoztlán. It was left in my apartment in Cuernavaca. I didn't think I would need it. Apparently, I was wrong.

See, I have a hunch that I am lactose-intolerant. I probably have developed it later in life, but I used to not have problems when I drink milk, but that has changed recently. Anyway, if anything, the problem would occur almost immediately after milk consumption. In this case, I did have a cappuccino during breakfast, but half an hour after breakfast, things were fine. So I thought it was fine this time.

While I was at the taxi that took me from Cuernavaca to Tepoztlán, things were also fine. So I thought that I wouldn't have problems this day. But I was mistaken.

As I was hiking up, I started seeing these signs advertising clean bathrooms. They were all saying that there isn't a bathroom available during the hike, once you enter the park, so they were all pretty saying that this is the last chance you have to use a bathroom. I really thought I wouldn't need it, so I ignored those signs. I went up.

Things changed, however. Halfway through the hike, I started getting the urge. And sure enough, I entertained the idea of going off-track and hiding behind the bushes and relieving myself. But then I realised that I didn't bring my roll of toilet paper! So halfway during the climb, I decided that I won't be able to go all the way up, and instead started going back down, trying to hold it in the meantime. Once I got down, I found a decent-looking cafe, where I rushed inside, and hurriedly told the startled waiter, "Busco dos cosas, un cafe y un baño!" He pointed me to where the toilet was to be found, and when I got back, an espresso was waiting for me at the table.

The trail was rough and tough, so after going to the bathroom, it was an easy decision not to attempt it for a second time. It also made me realise that I probably should exercise more and be more physically fit. Maybe if I were, then it would be easier to go back up again after going to the toilet.


  1. Love your intro at the cafe, and I've definitely done the same when I need to pee! I have bowels of steel but apparently, a small bladder :-D

    Would have been a miserable climb if you had ignored the urge.